I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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