I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
