Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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