I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
