we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
