Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
