So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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