I can text with my tongue
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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