So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
