Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
