i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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