I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
