i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
