i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
