i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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