Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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