How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
