That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My legs feel like baby dolphins
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
