you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
