Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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