the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
