i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
