turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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