She's JV to your varsity
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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