East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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