my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
