Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
