his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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