drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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