dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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