it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
