i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
