Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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