I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize