My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
