I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
