Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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