Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
