Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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