the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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