he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
