I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
