saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
