No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
