someone owes me an orgasm
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
