I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
