There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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