there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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