So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
