Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
